The Pixar Dream

Hi Mom.

So this evening, Ringling added a last minute video call with Ryan Howe and Rachel Narita, two people that represent PIXAR's University Relations Department. I sat with a crowded, buzzing with enthusiasm, auditorium to listen to a presentation that I'd dreamed about seeing since I was a sophomore in High School - since that's when the very real possibility of pursuing a career in art took hold. And afterwards, I came out feeling confusingly unattached and quite content.

PIXAR was arguably one of the biggest inspirations in my life when it came to pursuing my dream of art. But my dreams and ideals have shifted through the years, which is natural. But my goals have shifted further away from that original dream than I'd realized. Anytime anyone would ask me what I wanted to do, I'd always say, without hesitation, "PIXAR is the dream." And if someone asked me that today, I don't think I would respond the same, or if I did it would be because I couldn't come up with another answer on the spot.

Don't get me wrong, PIXAR is still a gargantuan, other worldly, demi-god of sorts when it comes to animation. What's changed is me and the fact that my tunnel vision has given way to an open horizon. While animation is essentially what brought Ringling to my attention and to art in general, I've been finding more and more comfort in classic Illustration than anything else. The idea of communicating through a single image is something beautiful and almost primal. It's an instinct to read composition, body language and think about what's really happening, whether you realize you're thinking about it or not. Illustration challenges you, and challenge is good. It's what keeps your growing and moving. And while I'm not saying it's better or worse than storytelling through animation and film, I'm saying it's a better fit for me as an artist. I think it relates to the 'less is more' ideal. I've always enjoyed stories that give me just enough to figure it out for myself, always leaving the final thought with me. And there's just something about that single moment that's being frozen in time, how thoroughly dramatic or oppositely, how safe it can be.

I planned on starting this post with the pages and pages of notes I took from the PIXAR presentation (I actually hit my word count on my phone's memo app, which I didn't know could happen). But since most of the notes revolve around internships I have very little interest in (production and managing? bleh) or not having the ideal skill set for (animation) it's kind of moot to rattle off things that probably have no significance over me. If anything, it's reinforced the idea that I've fallen completely in love with Illustration and have grown apart from the animation route that originally got me going. But I still took notes because even if I'm not working specifically towards PIXAR, having a professional, successful, wildly sought after company telling us 'what we look for when you apply' is invaluable information and ultimately, one of the reasons I picked Ringling.

As of right now, the closest company I could say that may be one I'd consider for internships, when that time comes as a student, is Hallmark. Mainly because I know of how many Illustration majors go there and start high up, not just in the mail room. Plus it's much more of the illustration focused medium. But saying "I think I'll work for Hallmark" is in no way any committal, 'this is my new dream' kind of statement. I know so many more companies and studios are going to find their way onto my options list, whether by accident or through thorough research, in the next few years and even farther down the line. Some day, in the very far future when I am rich and famous (duh), I think I'd like to actually have my own studio/publishing company with some kind of relevant, modern, every day purpose. I love learning about the publishing companies that were smart, sharp and critical of the times they inhabited and the world they experienced.

*side note: Did you know during the Civil War there were "Special Correspondents" illustrators who were sent by magazines and publishers to go to the front lines of battles and draw what they saw?! Because I didn't! And that's probably the most badass thing I can imagine in Illustration. Or when Thomas Nast exposed the corrupt, crime-boss, politician, SENATOR OF NEW YORK, Boss Tweed. And when Tweed fled to Spain, the Spanish police were able to identify and arrest him based off of the 50+ illustrations Nast had done of him. WHAT. IS THAT NOT THE COOLEST THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD??

ANYWAYS. As I was saying before I got sidetracked....while my dreams have shifted, as I expected they would, I feel very content and motivated in knowing I have endless opportunities ahead of me in the years to come, PIXAR or no.


P.S. And just because I won't strive to work for them doesn't mean I will be any less in love with their movies.

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